When I first converted to the Catholic faith, I didn’t understand the need for sacramental confession. I didn’t like it and was certainly not as obedient as I should have been with respect to seeking sacramental confession. (Ever notice how the phrase “not as obedient as I should have been” really translates to “not very obedient at all”?) However, as the Lord has worked in my life and I have decided to become obedient whether I saw the need to or not, I have become exceedingly grateful for the great gift of sacramental confession. Oh sure the grace of the sacrament is significant. As Jesus promised in John 20:19-23 the peace of the sacrament is very real, regardless of how we feel. And if there were no other benefits to it all, I should be very grateful and content. But today, I found myself meditating on the very temporal benefits of an obedient, disciplined, and frequent reception of the Sacrament of Confession.
Let’s be frank. I don’t find the process of confession to be pleasant at all. To make a good confession you must spend time in prayer asking God to illuminate your conscience and time examining your conscience in a systematic way. In this respect an examination of conscience is very much like cleaning house. Going and looking for dirt in the corners is always more likely turn up something gross than simply taking a quick swipe at the kitchen counter and calling it done. (How to make a good confession.) Then as if that wasn’t painful enough, you’ve got to go in front of another person and speak these things out loud. It can be intensely painful and I don’t remember the last time I left the confessional with dry eyes. It is also something that gets easier with practice and something that carries over into my relationships in real life.
Yesterday, I had it pointed out to me that I had been doing something that was potentially hurtful to my children. And so today after some meditation and prayer, I called the children to me and confessed to them and asked their forgiveness. Now as it turned out, my children argued with me and told me very specifically that not only were they not hurt by this but also that it was something that they liked and that they would not like me to stop. Go figure. Nevertheless, it was a good conversation and it started some good….although very silly…back and forth between us. And although it was not particularly pleasant to sit down in front of them and say, “It has been brought to my attention that I’ve screwed up and I’m sorry.” It was the right thing to do to go to them and ask them for forgiveness….and I don’t think I could have done it without the grace of confession.
So if you are a Catholic and you’ve been away from the confessional for a while. Bite the bullet. The discipline of regular confession will probably make you more intimately aware of Christ’s sacrifice for us, of His great love and the ocean of His mercy but it may be one of the best things you can do to improve the relationship you have with your spouse and children…or the other loved ones in your life.
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